Friday, November 18, 2005

No Sunday this Friday


Alas, Menier Chocolate factory called to say that this evening's performance had been cancelled due to technical issues. This means they are not ready to put the show before a paying audience. It's a pity because I had gone to some trouble to source the music and listen to it ahead of the show, and having been ambivalent originally to the show, I was not really, really looking forward to seeing it. Another time.

So instead we are going drinking in Soho...for a change. Still at least I've got another theatre visit planned for tomorrow night. Mary Stuart at the Apollo theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thursday on the Bus with Brad


...or things I hate about London.

Number 1. Trying to get to work in the morning. How difficult is it? I live in N1. The road I live on has two buses going up and down it. The 141 and the 76. Every morning it is a battle to get on a bus. I can guarantee that unless I walk 3 or 4 stops north of my bus stop, or walk for 15 mins to Old Street, 4 or 5 buses will drive right on by filled to capacity, and I won't get a bus in time to get to the office. That is unless I get up and out uber-early before peak commuting time. Or wait until after 9am, by which time I would be late for work.

And while on the subject of buses, how long until I contract some hideous disease from travelling on the top deck of one? On these cold mornings, the windows are closed and steamed up (even when it is dry outside). Coughs and sneezes all around. Dirty, dirty. Perhaps I should slip my scarf over my mouth and nose. Not that it would do me any good!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sunday this Friday


This Friday night I'm off to the Menier Chocolate Factory for a spot of Sondheim. Sunday in the Park with George. It's a musical which celebrates the art of creation and the creation of art, being inspired by the artist Georges Seurat.

The Menier Chocolate Factory is an interesting venue. It's more of a performance space. Earlier in the year I saw a play there, which was the best play I had seen for quite some time. Quite breath taking and rather challenging. Mercury Fur.

Mercury Fur had Ben Whishaw, who was quite fantastic in it. He had played Hamlet in Trevor Nunn's Old Vic production last year, to rave reviews. And I think he was in Ch4's Nathan Barley earlier this year.

I'm not a huge fan of Stephen Sondheim. His work can be difficult, complex, broody and dark. Sunday/George is not a show I know well. Rather than turn up cold, I prefer to know some of the music in advance, but hunt as I did I couldn't find a copy of the CD in the big music stores on Oxford Street, nor in Dress Circle, nor in the bookshop at the National Theatre. I had to email some contacts to track someone down who had a copy. He's going to lend me his CD so I can cram before Friday evening.

I am going with a couple of friends that I know through other contacts. It will be good to catch up with them. Our last night out was reported in some detail in another blog, which seemed to cause not too little a stir. But our last night out was great fun, and my friends are entertaining people.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Something For the Weekend....

Yesterday I decided that I am fit for dating again. Mentally fit I mean. It's been about 6 months so I think I can get my head around meeting guys for something more than a one off. But where and how. Isn't the internet mainly about sex these days? There is Gaydar and in the main it's a knocking shop, isn't it. That said, my own experience hasn't been so bad. I've met a few decent guys from there. In fact I have a date for next Thursday. Except that we won't actually know if we will want to date until after we have met.

I'va also placed an add on Gumtree. I see that I have 5 or 6 replies, which I will have to sift through from home. Will anyone of them be suitable? Can I risk not taking the time to find out?

For the future, well, there is still the lonely hearts section of the Guardian at weekends.

Together we are Wednesday

It's just about time to head home. I can't leave the office too early. It gets noticed and people (including my boss) think that I'm a slacker. I can't leave too late-it would do my head in, and besides, I have plans for tonight. Friends from sometime ago who now live around the corner from me. It's the first time that I've been round to their place as a single guy. I'm hoping they might even have invited some compatible type singleton along as a blind date.

However I have someone to take with me. It's not a he! It's another friend of old, one whose husband recently died, suddenly. This got me round to thinking about loss, and which loss is the hardest to bare. Loss from death, or loss following splitting up. Death is final. There is no coming back. But when a partner leaves you they are still there but, in my case, no longer available. Not even as a friend. It's also hard to accept that you were not enough. Not enough to keep them, and especially not enough if you have lost them to someone else. With death there is no competition. Only finality.

On that cheery note....

Monday, November 07, 2005

Everything Happens For A Reason

I have a great sense of sadness lingering over me, that I cannot shake. S & I were together for the best part of seven years. But not anymore. He bought a place of his own in May, and whilst I believed we would be living between the two places, that's not quite what transpired. After a series of strange events, S drifted apart from me, and now appears to be content with the company of someone else. One of the hardest things that I have had to deal with is the loss of my best friend. I realise now just how much support I drew on from S even when I didn't notice that he was providing it to me. I still can't focus on the happy times we shared, unable to shake off the regret I feel over my loss. For sure, my flat is an empty place, and I feel uncontrollably....



This describes exactly how I feel. Without focus, abstract, withdrawn and empty. Engaging on very few levels. There have been a few distractions which have helped only a little-the odd social event in the company of friends, pursuing activities I wouldn't ordinarily have undertaken.

So, my journey has changed direction unexpectedly, and I have no idea where my new destination will be, and when or how I am going to get there.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Ahoj


I thought that it was about time I did something a little more...interesting. Something I can usefully do when I have a moment, and something that can be done from the office where I seem to spend most of my time these days.

Over the course of some of these ramblings I'll possibly (though it's not a promise) build up a profile of the kind of person that I am. Different for everyone, I'll guess.

So where to start? I'm a 35yo professional working in the City (London's square mile). Gay-aren't we all these days- and recently single. But more of that later...perhaps.

Excuse the brevity (not a promising start, I know, but a start nevertheless); tonight I'm off to the footie. Champions League-Arsenal -v- Sparta Praha.

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