Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sweet Dreams

I suffer recurring and other vivid dreams.

I may have mentioned some before, elsewhere here. But it suits me to see just how often the recurring ones do, so I'm going to note the occurrences.

As a child I used to have a recurring dream. I still remember it. But I stopped having that one many years ago. Now there are two main ones.

The Aberdeen/London Dichotomy Dream

Over 7 years ago I resigned from a top 10 Scottish law firm, where I was a partner. I was giving up a secure future to move to London and a position much less than partnership.

As a partner there is a great deal of autonomy and prestige. You are your own boss, though accountable to your partners.

As an associate, you work for the partners.

Even though it has been more than 7 years I still dream about going back to Aberdeen and the law firm that I left, which has gone from strength to strength. However, in that dream I'm still working in London, living in London. But I have the opportunity of putting that on hold and working in Aberdeen again.

In my dream I'm torn between the two. London, and the freedom of living in London and the life I enjoy, or Aberdeen and the security of being my own boss.

Sometimes the dream also includes moving back to the wonderful flat I sold after I moved down here.

The Grandparent Regret Dream

In this dream either my GrandMa or Nana is still alive (the first died over 20 years ago, the other about 10 years ago).

In my dream I'm with them. I know that they have been absent, but now they are back. The dream deals with loss and grief. In my sleep, I cry. Often the sobbing wakes me up.

Another theme often occurring in my dreams is the loss of my teeth. Not all of them, just some. But I've not had that one for some time now.

Last night I had the Aberdeen/London Dichotomy dream. But it wasn't the only one.

I was watching a professional football match. There was a striker and a defender. The striker scored. By way of goading the supporters of the other team, and demonstrating his dominance, he fucked the defender on the pitch. Kind of like somersaulting to celebrate a goal, but different.

Both the guys were Middle Eastern or North African looking. Dark haired, hairy. Very hairy legs and arse.

Very much like those guys.

He did it on 3 occasions. It wasn't sexual. Merely a way of demonstrating the submissiveness of the unsuccessful defender. Very matter of factly and completely to taunt.

Now, I wonder what that means.

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