Wednesday, June 30, 2010

6.30am To 12.05am - My 9 to 5

I am *shattered*.

I was in the office yesterday at 6.30am and didn't leave until after midnight this morning.

Loving the new house, by the way... Our garden is coming on a treat.

And that's it, for the moment. Nothing more that I can think of to say, save I have a pile of DVDs to watch, including these:

Having watched Big Brother (because Xfe did) and now missed it for4/5 days, I'm already out of the loop.


Sunday, June 27, 2010

In The Night Garden

Thank you, again, for your thoughts and kindness.

Bittersweet news; Mum is out of the HDU, but the cancer has spread.

I am back in London, and I have to get on.

My job rewards me well, but my first 2 hours visiting my Mum on Friday saw me spend 5 mins with her, the rest outside the hospital, fixing it on my BlackBerry. Though, I had booked the day as a holiday but my boss said no need.

The double edged sword...

Continue as normal, as Mum wants, or other? Other being changing plans, decisions previously made, visiting more often.

The good son.

My younger brother is the good son. When we were called at 6am to the hospital last weekend, cause for concern said the hospital, my mother took my hand and made me promise to look after my brother.

Then she was content to go.

My brother! If only you (reader) knew how he can look after himself.

When he visited her a few days later, he started reading a paper. He got nagged by my Mum for not listening. Yet, instead of staying at the family home 60 miles away from hospital, he was the one who booked a room in Perth to be there in the night should she need him.

The Good Brother.

Like I knew he would.

The thing my mother should be proudest of is how well we look after the other. Always have, always will...

Two little boys.

David James Glad, NotSoFabCap

James glad to avoid Ghana

Keeper feels Germany may not be as tough

James glad to avoid Ghana

James: Relishing Germany test

David James has claimed it might have been harder for England to be facing Ghana than Germany.

David, I'm glad that you're glad. So far you've only conceded 4 goals against Germany's 1. So, would it have been 6 against Ghana?

And to think NotSoFabCap's only just signed a new contract...

(Of course I have to acknowledge, when did you last see Scotland happen? Still, we acknowledge how good, or not, we are).

So, what went wrong. The ball, the altitude, the vuvuzelas, the disallowed goal (don't you know that if it had been allowed the destiny of the game would have changed, in Engerland's favour - even though they are being outclassed?)

Scotland got it right - ABE; it's not a racist creed, it's the FA excuse - Anyone But England.

Ah well, the feelgood summer ends here...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Compassionate Leave

Well, it's almost midnight and I'm sitting in the garden, in the dark.

I have a couple of flame things and I'm burning sickly sweet incense. Xfe is in Paris, for Tel Aviv on Saturday.

I'm flying AirFrance tomorrow - to Dundee. Thank heavens for mon C's airmiles. Otherwise I'd be shelling out £600 plus for last minute flights. Instead, all I pay is the tax!

The good news is that my mother (68) is getting better. Let's put her distress and heightened anxiety down to chemical blip. She decided to resume treatment, and needless to say the pneumonia is getting better.

The possible bad news is that she might decide enough is enough tomorrow. That is when she finds if the cancer has spread. If so she'll need chemo/radiotherapy; she might decide not to.

Of course, it might have been caught sufficiently early. In which case there won't be any setback.

So, we'll see what tomorrow brings.

In the meantime, thank you for all your kind thoughts and wishes.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

While England Waits

So, you remember my mother's cancer condition.

So, you remember my mother's cancer condition?

In any event, she had her op.

And then.

She said she didn't have the strength to fight. To continue.

Now with pneumonia, and after a mild heart attack.

So, I dismissed the doctors and my Dad. As I held her hand, tightly, I asked...

-Mum. Do you really want to go?

She told me she had had enough pain. That she wanted to go.

So, holding her hand tightly and as we cried together I told her, son to Mother, that if her weak body had struggled enough I would not convince her otherwise.

Son with Mother. Mum, I love you.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Omni Nunc Arte Magistra

Recently I've had cause to think back to my school days. In part it might have been reading about Bobby V's crush on Paul. But there was something else-and it wasn't until this morning that I put my finger on it.

Meet Juan Martín Hernández the dieux du stade for the current quinzaine. Of course, I wasn't at school with him-unfortunately. But there was this guy... and the pic of JMH has prompted the stir of memory.

MG was in my year at secondary school, although not in my form class. I probably got to know him in about my 4th year. He played for the 2nd XV, though sometimes for the 1st when needed. He was in the CCF, and in our sixth year he was made CSM (top ranking cadet level at our school).

He was pale skinned-typically Scottish-smooth and very defined. Anyway he was a popular guy. However, stories started to get around about MG. He had been at a party and tried to "get-off" with another guy in the year. Apparently. However, such was his popularity that it didn't make any difference to how he was treated. Still, the story stuck in my mind.

From about the 4th year I used to go to the open swimming session at our school pool immediately after the end of the school day on Friday. So did MG.

Over the course of those sessions there was the usual horse play in the pool. Ducking guys, getting on someone's shoulders and wresting with others in the pool. I remember a couple of instances with MG in the pool. One where he grabbed me from behind and ducked me. He grabbed me hard and pulled me tight against him before tipping us both over. What I especially remember was that he had a raging hard-on that he pressed hard against me from behind.

Another time he was on my shoulders. We were wrestling other guys-trying to knock them over. This one time I was aware that he was rotating his groin area gently, but surely, into the nape of my neck.

At some time the swimming pool changing rooms were being refurbished and so we changed in the gym changing room. There I clearly remember occasions when I'd be speaking to MG, as he sat there in is boxers, legs wide apart, relaxed, showing (deliberately I'm absolutely sure) some of his balls, sometimes a bit of his dick. Just creeping out. He'd definitely and deliberately spread his legs while we chatted. Whilst gazing at me he'd sometimes caress his chest, but in a natural kind of way, sometimes clenching his hand under his arm.

The gym showers had only 3 cubicles. Once he was in the middle and the two either side were vacant. He suggested I come into his shower. Which I did. When I did he dropped his trunks (I kept mine on) and he soaped himself. In no means was it in a masturbatory manner. But still, we both knew what he was doing.

I never did anything. Ever. For sure I was excited, wanted. But this was an age when I was 15/16/17. MG was almost a year older-having my birthday in February meant I was at the younger end of the school age spectrum which had a cut-off at that time of 1 March, but started the January before. This meant that certain people were fully a year older than me. I knew my sexuality, probably, but accepting it less so, and I certainly wasn't going to risk cruxifiction being found out. I didn't have the luxury of being rugby popular and a school prefect.

The most obvious incidents with MG happened sometime after these. One in the pool changing room. The other in the SYS (sixth year studies) geography lab.

Our swimming pool changing room had individual cubicles, but without a door or curtain, although they did have a bar running across the top, like the top of a door frame.

One Friday evening-I think before swimming-his trunks were dry and the scent that I remember was definitely not chlorine!

However it happened, MG was hanging from the bar-as if doing pull-ups. He called me over, or as I was passing, he caught my attention. I looked up at him and as I did so he wrapped his legs around my neck, and he pulled me inwards. Right into his thighs which tightened around my neck, forcing my face into his groin. Right until my nose was resting on top of his balls, albeit they were inside his trunks. He jiggled a bit-but I remember the smell of him-specifically his groin/balls. I was paralysed. There was no way I was going to say/do anything. He let me go eventually, grinning at me.

The last incident was in our 6th year. My form master was head of Geography. MG was doing SYS geography. He used the SYS studio next to our form room. One day he was in there and he asked me in. He ended up wrestling with me. My hands pinned down, his groin once again full up over my chin. Pushing...

Needless to say nothing further ever happened. He went to the same Uni as me, but I can't remember what he studied, I saw him from tie to time, and I was aware that at sometime he had taken a girlfriend.

A few months ago he found me on LinkedIN, and sent me an email.

[I thought I'd kept it, but obviously not. Something along the lines of I'm in Australia now, petroleum engineer, married 2 kids... What about you?]

I never replied!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Gardening Time

We've been having more gardening fun this weekend. Xfe deals with the borders, and I do the raised bed and my "vertical garden"; well, what I hope will be a vertical garden.

Although the bees seem to be dying, all around, currently, there seems to be the sound of drones buzzing.

My mother had the best diagnosis she could have (after being diagnosed with bowel cancer). It was identified through monitoring for her other problems. So it was identified early. It seems there is no secondary cancer - i.e. it has not spread.

Tomorrow, almost a year after going into hospital resulting in a 16 week stay, and loosing her toe, her leg (below the knee) her leg (whole) she is back in hospital. Fighting cancer, but with a very good chance.

So, fingers crossed Mum. I'll see you at the weekend. x x x

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Something For The Weekend

I have always loved this song.

It was (I think) the first time I had heard k.d.lang.

It's stunning.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Hope So


At risk of sounding boring, we're off once again on summer holiday to Tel Aviv.

It's not just that it's a fabulous place (it really is). The truth is I'm cheap, and for me I get a five-star holiday for €110 (the tax on my business class AirFrance flights on Xfe's airmiles and a suite at Sheraton Towers on expenses).

SADLY, we will miss TA Pride.

The give away that this is TA Pride, if you look closely, is fairly apparent...

Closer. Zoom in....

See. The cigarettes.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Matt's Crack

I've not had the chance yet to comment on how my pal Matt is going...

For the moment though, speculation is rife about Matt Smith's crack. Apparently there are sightings everywhere, including all over classic Who. And the crack appears to be the right shape!!!

Which would be a crack from left to right in a slightly "U" shape. If not, look at it upside down and suddenly what d'ya know - it fits the profile!

Imagine a story involving a crack and where the TARDIS breaks up. Now I wonder where I've seen that happen before?

Looking for cracks in classic Who isn't difficult given how many were filmed or set in caves, quarry-planets... Even Pertwee's workbench had a similar shaped crack...that is, one rising as it tended from left towards the right (as Pertwee looked at it).

What could it mean (as if)?

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Space Definition

Today, thinking about our new home-habits I've come to realise how the space we inhabit defines the way we live our life.

I mentioned this in relation to my lack of regular blogging, even since we became BB active once again. But it's not limited to that. We:

  • watch less television
  • listen to more radio
  • listen to less music
  • go to the theatre less

    The last one relates to geographical perspective. While it takes me the same time to get from home to work as before (perhaps even less time), we used to be 15 mins to the Barbican and 25 mins to the National, direct from the N1 flat. Now you can add 15 minutes more to each.

    And besides, staying at home, in our new home, was still a novelty.

    We will not have a TV in our kitchen - so we watch less TV. We have a radio instead.
  • Tuesday, June 08, 2010

    Objectif 2010 - Update

    As I have been terribly tardy with my blog posts, so to with my theatre visits. Equally as terrible, I've had tickets, many tickets, that I've simply not used. But for those checking the counter you will have noticed it moved up (and down) a couple of digits.

    I was at the theatre on Friday and again tonight.

    One of the great things about London is the variety and who you're going to get offstage as well as on.

    Past theatre spots have included (in the audience or just hanging about) Vanessa Redgrave, Russell Tovey and new Dr Who, Matt Smith.

    On Friday, just sitting behind us, was twice Tony Blair Michael Sheen, and tonight just along from us was an absolutely fabulous (seriously, she looked so good) looking Jane Horrocks.

    Mr Sheen however was looking a little scraggy. Here's how he looked (taken from a charity footie tournament he played in on Sunday, two days after we saw him)...

    More of the shows themselves later...

    Monday, June 07, 2010

    My Own Personal TARDIS

    I'm sorry for the lack of posts, despite my promise that normal service would be resumed.

    The problem is two-fold.

    The first is that in the flat I had a little workstation overlooking the main room, from where I could chat with Xfe and watch TV.

    It was easy to sit, type, interact and be with Xfe.

    Here, currently I have no equivalent. There is plenty of space, an abundance of space. Indeed, a surfeit of space. But, as of yet, I have no "workstation".

    And then there are the chores to do, the things to tend, the places to grow into and become comfortable in.

    With so much space there are rooms I don't even go into. Like the one at the end of this corridor.

    That is a novelty.

    There's also the outside room where I spend so much time. Lounging. Relaxing. Watching Xfe while he tends his plot...

    There are, finally, barbecues to be had, friends to entertain.

    Thursday, June 03, 2010

    La Vie, La Vie, La Vie

    1. My mother has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer, continuing her cycle of poor health.
    2. My best friend (here, on the left as you look at it with the lesser six-pack) is over from Poland (he is Scottish) staying with us for the weekend.
    3. While watching Question Time someone threw an egg at our front room window. Perhaps they found us watching Diane Abbott offensive?


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