Friday, August 13, 2010

The Thais That bind

My brother, at 41 (on the cusp of 42) is about to become a father for the third time.

He is going to gift my parents their first granddaughter. (My mother's heart is filled with joy - she long past thought of having one).

Mon C will be going to look after LM, our 2nd nephew, when new baby comes along. The closest he will have to the children of his own, the children he wants.

I won't be visiting with him. I have, after all, work. But, I have, after all, discounted children of my own. Carefully, deliberately, defensively...

When I go for a coffee and I hear a baby cry, my mind's eye judges those parents unfit. That child should be in care. They have all Mon-Fri to socialise. Do not, DO NOT, take up weekend time, the time of those who work during the week (like your screaming baby's father). The chance I have to go for a coffee in the deli you can inhabit all week.

But that's unreasonable me.

LM is great. He is a happy baby. I am happier by far by the happiness he brings Xfe.

But babies, children, are not for me.

Because I taught myself they are not.


Jackdaw said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. Children are mostly nice because they make our friends happy, but as soon as they start nagging or crying I also uneasonably and silently blame the parents for my discomfort.

However, if my Maker hadn't made the choice to make me a homo, I'm sure I would have had childern of my own before I were 25. Thank Maker I'm gay!

MadeInScotland said...

Jackdaw, exactly.

I've mentioned before that I'm glad I was made gay.

Made in Scotland: Why Does God Make All The Beautiful People Gay?

Aya Hashiguchi said...

Hello my friend. Are you going to make it to your goal of 52 shows this year? I know you've been busy with all the transitions in your life. But I have faith in you, too.

Just saw show #43 last evening, a children's production that I took my nieces and nephew to. It's been a long and fun year in theatre.

Love reading your posts! Congratulations on being an uncle again!

MadeInScotland said...

Aya, I think I'm going to fail. I'm at 20, 32 still to go! But sometimes its ok to fail!


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