Friday, November 19, 2010

A Self Portrait #6

This picture was taken after I had my eyes done, hence the shades indoors.

The phone is the last but one.

The calendar is probably the last but two.

I notice plenty grey creeping in the sides, the beard. Perhaps I should keep clean shaven at all times.

The channel from my nose to my lips looks pronounced. But not over pronounced I think.

The ears a reasonable proportion. Perhaps slightly small?

The flat looks like... Well, a distant memory now.

I like how the French don’t work so hard. On Sunday I was reading about someone who’d gone over from England. He had a French wife and they were both made redundant at the same time and they went over to France. He said it was fantastic because they had a statutory five-week holiday period and all their bank holiday equivalents on top of that. I like that. I like the food there. I like the weather there. The French people I can take or leave: I don’t like them that much; I don’t dislike them that much. I like eastern European more. But I guess that’s because the French aren’t really that bothered about British people. They don’t really need anything from British people. They don’t really think they have anything to learn from British or western culture. They see it as the same as theirs, so they’re not that interested. They know they need to speak English but they’re not needy about speaking English in the way that eastern Europeans are. So my liking for France has more to do with the place than the people. It’s not that I dislike the people: I’m just ambivalent about them.

The company I feel comfortable in has changed. The interesting thing is that majority of my best friends are straight. They’re my best friends because we went to university together and did all this stuff together. We see a lot less of each other than we used to, partly because I’m here in London. And we’ve moved on not only geographically but in other ways. Their lives have become quite different from mine, because they’ve all got kids now and their kids are a focus they all have in common because they all started having children at around the same time and were going through the same experiences as their babies grew up. And of course that’s not part of my life and I don’t connect with it any more.

So as I’ve got older, I’ve found I’ve had more in common with gay people. The fact that we don’t have families makes us a bit freer. It’s easier to go out with my gay friends because they don’t have to get baby sitters; they’re freer to do stuff. It’s not a case of, “We’d love to but we can’t because of the kids.” I do a lot more with my gay friends than with my straight friends purely because it’s easier to continue doing the things I do. There are people in the Chorus I have round to dinner. I love to entertain at home and typically the people I entertain at home are a mix of Chorus people and friends from elsewhere, but not my good friends, although a good friend and his wife come from time to time. And then there are a few other people that I have met since being in London, people that you went out on a few dates with or something like that, but I am not very pro-active in looking for new friends because I don’t really feel that I need to.

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